11.

delivery and understanding all seem sheltered. everything seems nicer now, though. since he retired, since he cut back on drinking. maybe i understand him more as a member of the ever moving machine and not an obstacle or a gate or a punishment. i feel like we all get to go through this. or at least i hope we do. i feel pretty lucky that my parents didn't divorce and force us to figure it out. i think at times they probably had to fake it the way we had all had to do. i'm thankful for the togetherness we've found in the years after everyone's reacting to having kids and being born and being kids and raising kids and being teenagers and raising teenagers and then growing up together and figuring it all out together. living and coexisting. the car ride ends up not being awkward at all. comfortable and calm and smoothed out. a rare time that the connection feels conversational and there are no seats to hold or fill or act within. if there's one thing that's easier than all the rest that i know i can do within my means and my power, it's to have a better, stronger more legitimate relationship with my father. i think we might all need to get there. so i'm home and i think this is where the travel journal ends. 

tenth album: orion.'s the sound and the fury ep.